I'm buckling. Under the pressure and the strain that college and life is putting on me. In todays society it is the norm for women to have a big independent job. Its no longer the norm for them to be cooking//cleaning//dancing//singing mothers and housewifes. And unfortunately the world knows this and so we have to comply to them and get a big job and know exactly who we are and what we want to do. Unfortunately thats not me. College is putting so much pressure on us all because within the next few months we have to be filling out personal statements and UCAS forms for University - and note the have to part. Because yes, you guessed it, there is no longer room for those of us who don't want to go to university. Its no longer a matter of whether we want to or can afford it or if our dream job requires it - we have to. Because as far as college is concerned everyones dream jobs needs a degree to go along side it.
When I told one of my friends I was considering dropping a second A Level and picking up another one her response was simply "Do you want to go to University?" I said no and she said "I'm not surprised with that attitude." SCREW MY ATTITUDE - Have personal dreams got nothing to do with it?!?! I'm sorry I'm not ambitious like the rest of you, I'm sorry I don't have my life sorted and I will be full time trying to figure out what I want to do full time. I'm sorry I would rather let my heart and soul be content and happy rather than permanently stressed out with a job I hate. I'm sorry I have no life plan. Maybe it doesnt even matter. You know, I dont even care if I'm just a shop assistant working in a shop I love like Asos or Free People or Fat Face for the rest of my life. I really don't because at least I will have time for the things that really matter like my husband and my family and my art and my church. And my heart will content because I am doing the things I really love - not the things I have to.
And if I was single with no plans with my boyfriend I would still be saying something similar - but maybe with a big life move to New York or California instead.
And now this post has made me feel like a failure because I have no plans for my life. . #HIPPYLIFERULES