I am 16 which means I have just left school. I left about 2 weeks ago and usually I love the freedom and everyday feels like a Saturday which great, but I do find myself missing school? I actually miss wearing a school uniform, and feeling like I was at home, and I think I am only realizing this now I have left, which is weird. I hated school from Year R to Year 11, school was my worst enemy, which is why I can't believe that I actually miss it a bit. To be quite honest, it was impossible with me to like school. I went there I did the work, I got the grades (I hope and think), but I still hated, and enjoyed very few subjects and even fewer teachers. Yet watching Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (which is one of the oddest films to make me think like this) is making me miss school - something I thought I would never miss. And the things I thought I would miss - like my older sister when she moved to Australia - I actually don't miss all that much. Is that so terrible of me? I think when you prepare yourself to miss something it becomes easier, and so you are more aware of that pain when it comes.
I am realizing that the things I used to dislike doing, I now love doing, and I wished I had embraced those things when I could because now it is too late. It feels like just last week I was 5 years old and playing with my toys and in no time at all, it has all changed completely. Day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different. Suddenly I need to get a job and grow up and realize I need to decide what I want to do with my life, and it has come when I'm just not ready too, because I think I am just too young to do all that. I worry about what I am going to with my life, whether I will be a journalist, or a designer or a marine biologist, and everyone is like 'you don't need to have all that sorted, you are still so young' and in the long run, we are, but really we do need to have all that sorted now, and these are the struggles we face, because no one tells you how quickly it all goes, and how one day you are just simply too old.
I used to love writing stories and just writing in general, like this, and I did it all the time, and when I found myself stopping, I realized I had more to write down. I used to keep a diary and I until I wrote my final entry in it because every week I scribbled the same things. However now I wished I kept it just so I had somewhere to write this down.